Untitled by Laura Nelson

Are such casualties really necessary? Do you really think it changes anything? To an unknowing anyone we would seem like old friends from high school just stopping to chat, but if they looked past the words they might find something much deeper. What if they knew i had once been in love with you? Would that change how they saw me? Would it seem any different if you gave me a hug? What if arms lingered like things of the past? Every word could mean something completely different, but do you mean it like I think? Are you really the boy you seem to be or is it a mask to keep me from seeing what used to be. I don't understand your reasoning but seeing, hearing, or rather reading how you say hello and goodbye. Why does goodbye seem so much more meaningful when written across a computer screen keeping our conversation alive only by four blinking green lights. Maybe there's a hope left there somewhere. Maybe I think less of you and you more of me? I'm not so sure, I think I'm lying to myself, but I don't understand what makes me think so. What am I holding onto so firmly? A memory? A page out of a book no longer in print? What of the lies we tell run deeper than ourselves? What if I still love you but inside I'm lying to myself.